Phase Three

There seems to be increase awareness in the senior community and on the internet regarding the “Colonoscopy”. I’ve read several accounts lately on the subject. I even wrote a personal, lite hearted account many years ago. With many of us, the colonoscopy is a necessary evil.
While at breakfast a few weeks ago, one of our friends, “Jim” informed us he wouldn’t be meeting us for breakfast the following Wednesday. Of course we were wondering Why!, when Jim proceeded to tell us he was scheduled for the colonoscopy on Thursday and he would be going through the preparation stage on Wednesday. OK, we all know about the “Preparation” stage, but Jim proceeds to explain that this time there has been some changes to the process. The solution is in a “Gator-aide” form. This new idea is to make this stage a bit less uncomfortable. I was mildly interested in this whole subject, as it always brings back those memories of my first experience with the “Preparation Stage” of the Colonoscopy. But, at the table that morning was “Bob”, another friend who joins us from time to time for breakfast, and he was taking this entire conversation in with great interest. Bob is a detail kind of guy and in a conversation, really gets down to the nuts and bolts of most any subject which might be the topic for discussion. Jim on the other hand finds a certain amount of enjoyment in tweaking the curiosity of Bob, to the point I have been known to totally lose awareness of the original subject. Actually, I have been know to just get up and leave.
As it turns out Bob is scheduled for the same procedure in another two weeks and is very interested in hearing all about this “Gator-Aide” formula. Jim is ever so obliging in providing Bob with the details, beginning with step one and going through each step in fairly explicit detail.
Jim went through the colonoscopy with the usually discomforts, but when it was all over he was given a good report of no problems. This was a relief for Jim.
Two weeks have passed and it is now Bob turn, “Preparation” day has arrived.
I really don’t know the activities leading up to this part of the story, but as reported by Jim, he received a phone call the evening Bob was beginning his “Preparation phases”.
It was Bob’s wife, Sally. “Would you mind explaining to Bob about taking this solution for the colonoscopy preparation?” she ask Jim.
It kind of caught Jim by surprise, but he said, “Sure, I’ll be glad to.”
Sally passed the phone over to Bob, who abruptly ask Jim, “Would you explain again those phases you were talking about for this clean out I’m suppose to be doing?”
“Well, what is it you want to know?” ask Jim
Bob began, “ I did phase one, and mixed the Gator-aide solution up, put it in the refrigerator,
for 2 hours like the instructions said.”
“You followed the mixing instructions, and you have your jug of stuff to drink, that’s good. It should be a lite green, clear liquid, right?” said Jim, as he began to “tweak” at Bob.
Bob replies, “Yeh, I have that part all done and I’ve been drinking the stuff like it says in phase two, but I’m wondering, nothing seems to be happening.”
“Well, what time did you start drinking the solution?” ask Jim, knowing he was going to get a chance to stir up Bob on this one.
“Oh, about quarter past 6, I’m kind of concerned, nothing seems to be happening, except my insides are all churning and rumbling.” said Bob.
Jim looked at the clock hanging on the wall there in the kitchen, it read 5 minutes to 7. He could hear the anxiety in Bob’s voice, and knowing how Bob is a sticker for detail, Jim said, in his demented way, “Ah, Bob, you still there?” A weak reply came back from Bob, not really recognizable as a full word. “Look Bob, I think you’re ready for Phase Three!!!” With that Jim heard the phone drop and could hear Sally in the back-ground as voices trailed off away from the phone.
Sally returned to the phone to inform Jim that phase three had started and to thank him for explaining things, again, to Bob.